put it on the board!

Folks, we're no longer dealing in fractions here. I and the thirty or so remaining Volunteers from my training group have now been in Kenya for a full year. I think nearly everybody would agree with me when I say that the time has been some of the most interesting, enlightening and rewarding (though the latter most tends to be quite fleeting) life has yet to serve up. I also know that everybody would whole heartedly agree with me when I say that it has been at least equally disheartening, uncomfortable and all around difficult. Because a plane ticket back to an easier more comfortable life is just a phone call away, I congratulate everyone from my group, and really all Peace Corps Volunteers (except for those guys who are on some sweet beach in Costa Rica or some country like that), for pushing through. In this existence surviving ain't no small thing.

With that self-congratulation out of the way, I have to say that for myself the reward has been beyond worth the struggle. Sitting here trying to catalog all the ways this experience has served me is no easy task. The things I'm getting to do with work are infinitely more interesting, challenging and aligned with my values than anything else I could possibly be doing right now. When I came here I was somewhere between highly uncomfortable and terrified to speak in front of crowds. Now every gathering I go to I'm asked to say something (because I'm in the interior of Africa and white). More than a couple times I've had to speak in front of over 400 community members and I'd like to think that I was comfortable enough that I did a decent job. Granted that comfort might not perfectly translate over to the context where most people actually understand what I am saying, but hey, at least I know I can do it. And having the opportunity to spend the day to day looking at the big picture trying to solve problems from scratch, getting people to cooperate with no real authority, and using all that as a platform to build people up and change mindset; with all do respect to my previous employer, it certainly beats trying to get people to buy a sponsorship.

Also getting to (alright maybe at first it was: being forced to) understand and integrate into a culture and value system that is so vastly different from what we have in America that there is no way I could ever get you to understand it. Not to mention that a lot of the people I live with are in a type of poverty that would have been unimaginable to the world I previously knew. And to see them in that condition but still happy and enjoying life. It really opens your mind.

When I joined Peace Corps I wasn't too sure how I was going to fit in with other Volunteers. You know I'm at least kinda jockish, or as a past colleague would say: a bro, and I wasn't sure how that would mesh with the average person who decides to spend two years of their life doing whatever it is that Peace Corps Volunteers do. I've found that there is no typical Volunteer and people join for a multitude of reasons (on a related note I'd like to do a post on the misconception that is altruism). My training class is crazy diverse but if you got to know them all the two traits you would see the most are the desire to do things that matter and the desire to do things that are interesting. Not bad qualities to have in your companions for something like a two year stint in Kenya. More so, not bad qualities to have in people that you'll inevitably be linked to indefinitely.

Now I could go on and on, but the last thing I'll mention is the excitement of just living the life and seeing the sites that come with spending a year in Kenya. It's an absolutely beautiful country that is as geographically diverse as a New York City subway train is ethnically diverse. Even my area, which is not at all special by Kenya's standards, is stunning. When I'm bored or demoralized nothing picks me back up or reminds me of the uniqueness of this whole experience more than a ride on a country bus. Speaking of being bored, that is near the top of my list of complaints these days. I'm used to so much of what was once new and exciting that when things get slow man I just do not know what to do with myself. Despite that I still think my life is in the net more interesting than what it would be even if I was still living in New York. There is more of a pure rush in getting off the bus into that crazy depot in Nairobi and more excitement in a single night out until 5 in some semi-shady club to compensate for the slowness of village life.

Of course there are the down sides. A lot of the things that ostensibly fall in this category actually just provide a challenge or a change of pace. But unfortunately there are many that do nothing but grind on my patience, will, spirit or all of the above. Number one on this list would ironically enough be the same thing you would find on my list of positives: people. Part of this stems from the frustrations of working on rural African time (a 9am meeting actually starts at 11am, and people will STILL be JUST showing up at 1:30 or 2...that's five hours late people!). But it's also more substantial than that. Most of the older community leaders are far more interested in politics than they are in development. Community groups are vehicles for gossip and opportunities to have a title, rather than any type of real mobilizing initiative. I tried a little bit to change that at first, which I quickly learned was A) a huge mistake and B) impossible. Now I've accepted it and try to get things done within it, but honestly I tire of it all very quickly. Also people regularly disappoint. They say they will do something, which you're relying on, then they don't. Or someone helps me out with something and I start to think they're decent but it turns out that they just want me to give them money or to get me to ask the General to help with some problem they're having (and he always listens and often tries to assist). And occasionally I have found out that people I have been working with or just respect are as corrupt as a human being can possibly be (and I will definitely post about corruption in Kenya at some point, it's awful and complex and interesting all at the same time). If a series of those events come in a row it can get to be a bit much. You start to wonder what the point of it all is. When I get into these modes, which isn't too frequently but it does occur, I look for some kids to pick me up. First of all they're just about always really excited to see me (I now understand the appeal of being reality TV start, being adored for no real merit doesn't take away from the fun at all). Plus they remind me that there is a future. These kids deserve more opportunities than what this place currently offers, and they should not have to pay for the sins of their parents and grandparents.

This next thing has slowly started to wear off, but man not getting to see football is killing me. The first few weeks of the NFL season were brutal. Broncos starting 6-0! Say what! Of course this happens when I can't see a single game. This might seem like a small thing to a lot of people, but it's weird and depressing to have something that was such a big part of my life almost completely absent, at least absent in a meaningful way.

I'm an optimist and part of the way one achieves optimism is by deliberately not focusing on the negative, so this will be the last difficulty I'll mention (because I could go on and on with this too). I'm really pleased with the way I've integrated into my community and I have a lot of people who I consider to be real friends. But no one really understands the world I come from and the struggles I deal with. I mean I don't think there's a single villager that even knows what American football is! Most or the time this is more than fine, but occasionally it would be nice to be able to reminisce about college or vent a bit about the meeting that nobody showed up for or have someone else appreciate how insane looking some bird is.

Each one of the difficulties I face, listed and unlisted, isn't too bad by itself. Occasionally a few descend on me at once, and those are the times this becomes a really hard gig. But Peace Corps recruiters tell you early on in the application process that this will be the toughest job you ever love. Truly stated.


Two quick side points:
1) My mom did good job telling all the interesting stories from their visit that I didn't see any need to elaborate. Eliot was going to do an entry but he's been bitching about being busy with law school and wanting to get the most out of his 100K+ investment or something like that. Mixed up priorities if you ask me. If you haven't checked the blog for a while take a look at the previous post. Moms made an excellent contribution.

2) The library is getting very closed to completion! All the money was raised for the furnishings so now we are waiting for the money to transfer so construction can get started. In just a few short weeks the library itself will be all wrapped up! The books are already being used by students and teachers, but I have a lot of work to do in getting most of the villagers to understand how a library functions and encourage them to at least get books for their young ones to read. This will require real effort for a number of people, but a lot of fairly well educated people and shop keepers are excited about it. Once it is completed I will get pictures up one way or another and do a blog post/email dedicated to the event. Thanks to all who contributed!